Ignition Music Magazine Blog: Break Up Songs That Aren't "I Will Survive"

Break Up Songs That Aren't "I Will Survive"
By Ash Florez

(Claire Danes, Homeland ^)

Psssst. Hey you. Yeah, you...elbow deep in a pint of ice cream. Knock it off, you're embarassing yourself; you have a reputation to protect! Don't let that horrible succubus of an ex turn you into blithering sad sack, holed up in your dark bedroom hopelessly stalking them on facebook and writing cryptic entries, praying they'll notice. And you'd better hide your phone if you have any intention of drinking that entire bottle of Jack Daniels you've been eyeballing all night. It's also probably about time to turn off the Bright Eyes CD before you stick your head in the oven. I'm aware that all of this is easier said than done after someone rips your heart out of your bum, but please for the love of all that's holy (or unholy, whatever you're into) quit listening to all of those butthurt songs on the radio crooning about how "looooove hurts...loooove scars...waah waaah." It's not going to help you out of your deep, brooding depression. You know what will? Blasting Reel Big Fish's "Beer" as you're drinking one with some rowdy friends. Or maybe just getting that dirt off your shoulders to Jay-Z's "99 Problems." This month I've made your mixtape full of snarky " I'm-over-you" songs to help you quit being a little bitch and get on with your life. Now let's RAGE.

1. Ween: Piss Up A Rope